Consider God's grace for you and them so you can admonish with patience, love, humility, and forgiveness. When a Believer commits evil, it is easy for us to only focus on the sin problem. We may instinctively back off, disgusted by the Believer's vice. Or, we may instinctively try to "fix" their sin issue by spouting off self-help advice or memory verses. Either way, we dwell on the problem and neglect the person.
Consider God's Grace for Them
Remember, like you, the Believer is a recipient of God's grace. God loves them just as much as He loves you. He has a plan and purpose for their life. He showers them with blessings and gives them new mercies. God is working in their heart to make them more like Jesus.
When Paul admonished the Church, he clearly proclaimed his overwhelming passion for their souls. Paul rejoiced that they were all in this Christian journey together as fellow partakers of grace and partners in the Gospel. We have everything in common with those who Believe! So, before you admonish a Believer for their sin, reflect on God's expansive grace and steadfast love for them.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:3-8
Consider God's Grace For You
God gives us grace to give to others. God comforts us through trials, sin issues, and pain so that we can comfort others. We soak in the grace that God showers upon us, and then we pour it on to others. When we reflect on the times God showed us mercy for our sin, the Holy Spirit helps us confront others for their sin with humility. We love because God first loved us. We give grace because God gave grace to us.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
When You Just Want to Run Away
Giving grace requires a level of R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Sometimes it is difficult to respect a Believer in light of their sin. Even though you are exposing their destructive sin, you must still show the individual (a Beloved Child of God) respect. Consider their needs above your own. Outdo them in love. Love them with brotherly affection. The kind of grace God calls us to give, is a grace that gets its hands dirty!
Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Luke 17:3
How Can I Respect Someone Who Committed Evil?
1. Ask God to soften your heart toward them. Ask the Lord for His eyes to see the Believer. When God sees that person, He sees a Child of God. He loves them as He loves His own Son. We cannot muster up this mercy in our hearts. Compassion comes from the Spirit.2. Just like Paul prayed for the Church he admonished, pray for the Believer. Pray that God would use you in their life to bring them closer to the Lord. Pray that the Lord gives them an open spirit, a discerning mind, and a repentant heart.
3. Put yourself in their shoes. How might you respond? What might you have chosen? Remember, you are a sinful basket case too.
4. Do not confront and run. Pursue the Believer even after you admonish them. Send them encouraging notes or texts. Hold them accountable. Pray with them. Weep with them. Rejoice with them. Bear their burden. Continually uplift them even after confrontation.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
When You Just Want to Fix Their Problem
Listen to Their Story
Show grace by listening eye-to-eye, heart-to-heart. Hear the Believer out before offering godly counsel. Before hearing a believer's confession, explanation, or struggle, we jump to conclusions. We may assume things about their condition or situation that are not accurate. In order to admonish with grace, we must open our ears. Look the believer in the eye. Listen to their story from start to finish. Hear their heart before trying to solve their problems.If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. Proverbs 18:13
Share Your Story
Show grace by opening up. Tell your own grace story. Believers receive your admonishment much better when you humbly admit you struggle as well. We all battle sin. You may not relate with the believer's specific sin issue, but you may have experienced similar emotions. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Share how the Lord has worked (or is currently working) in your heart. Make sure to shine the spotlight on God's grace and sanctification rather than your sin. Remember, God's love covers a multitude of sin! His grace is more than enough for you and them.Grace Leads to Change
When we give grace to others, we do not condone their sin but rather encourage them to change knowing God's love is patient and enduring enough. God's grace leads to change not apathy. Grace does accept our sin but, on the contrary, it shows us we are far from okay. God gives us grace to make us more like Jesus. This requires movement toward God and away from sin. Grace pushes us forward!
When admonishing, remind the Believer that we do not deserve God's grace but He gives it to us in abundance anyways. Grace shows us we are in the wrong but that, because of Christ's death and resurrection, we are made new. In light God's grace and Christ's righteousness that lives in us, we are free to choose righteousness. We are now free to become more like Christ under the law of grace not condemnation.
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Titus 2:11-14
The kind of grace we have in Christ is strong. It does not sit still but trains for godliness. It does not produce shame but joy. It does not run away but pursues. It does not hold grudges but forgives. It does not shrink back but compels us to love. Give that grace to others!
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