I'm Not Good Enough
People often refuse to confront out of inferiority. We do not feel "good enough" to call someone out for a sin issue. I have enough sin burdens of our own! What if they call me a hypocrite?
We will never feel "good enough" to bear another's burden. Nevertheless, it is important we cling to the Truth not our emotions.
Feeling: I keep messing up in so many areas. God should pick a better Christian to admonish. Truth: Christ lived a more than good enough life for me. His Spirit within me qualifies me to admonish in love.
"Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:5-6
Notice this verse does not say "you who are perfect should restore him." No, it says "you who are spiritual." Spiritual does not mean "good enough" rather "of the spirit". Those who are spiritual have God's Holy Spirit living inside of them. They are led by the spirit, walk in the spirit, and bear the fruit of the spirit.
Spiritual people are day-to-day Christians just like you and me. They need God's strength every hour. These are the people God calls to admonish in love.
I'm Too Good For You
On the other hand, we may feel entitled to rebuke our friends. We are quick to point out others' faults...but only in areas we ourselves do not struggle in (or so we like to think).
We can easily judge our friend for texting during chapel and then catch ourself scrolling through Instagram in Bible class the next hour.
Oh how we deceive ourselves by thinking we are "above" another Christian because our sin looks different than their sin. When condescending and hypocritical Believers admonish, they do more harm than good. They take their fellow believers' eyes off Christ and on to themselves.
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-9
Humbly admonishing one another with gentleness requires complete reliance on the Holy Spirit. Consider your own heart long enough to remember that you are nothing without Christ. You need forgiveness and God's strength just as much as anyone else. Spiritual people produce fruit only through the power of the Holy Spirit. We can do no good apart from Him.
When we reflect on God's grace in our life, God will get the glory God, not us!
Pride Comes in All Shapes
In either case, "I'm not good enough" or "I'm too good for you", there is a pride issue. Why? Because the focus is on ourselves. We seek our own praise instead of God's. We chase after man's approval not the Lord's.
We boost up our self-esteem by bringing down others. We refuse to admonish our friends because we are afraid of how it makes us look. Pride is the root of inferiority and condescension. Both involve commending or condemning ourselves.
The Right Value System
How can we consider our own sin with pure humility? By taking our eyes of man and on to the cross. In order to accurately measure something, we must have the right value system. When we measure our sin to another fallen human's sin, we get flawed results. We will either come out "on bottom" and boast in man's labors. Or we will come out "on top" and boast in our own labors.
Man-to-man comparison leads to arrogance or insecurity. Man-to-God comparison leads to humility and gratitude.
In order to calculate an accurate measure of our sins, we must compare our hearts to the law of Christ. Then, no matter what, God will get the glory. Every time we compare our sin to God's law, we come up short. But God's mercy fully and completely covers our shortcomings!
We amount to something because God is our everything. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. We no longer live, but Christ lives in us!
Our good works are not due to man's flaws or our own efforts but the Holy Spirit's power within us.
Christ-confidence
That being said, we can humbly bear one another's sinful burdens not out of a fear of man but out of a fear of the Lord. Let's confront our loved ones out of Christ-confidence not self-confidence. Christ enables us to do all things through Him. We have the Holy Spirit working in and through us. We know we are not perfect in our own strength, but in Christ, we are righteous!
So, before you confront them, consider your own sin. Measure your sin not to man's standard but to the Lord's. Consider Christ's sanctifying work in your own heart. Share with others God's Good News of grace, steadfast love, and forgiveness.
When you address their sin, point them to the cross.
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