4 Things To Consider Before You Confront Them {Part 1: Consider Their Spiritual Maturity}

It is easy to assume other Believers are in the same spiritual spot as you are. When writing to the Church, Paul encourages the Body of Christ according to their spiritual maturity level.

But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 1 Corinthians 3:1   

Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Philippians 3:15

The Journey

Each Christian is in a different place in their walk with Christ, traveling at different paces. Before we admonish a Child of God, consider where they are in the journey. John addresses three stages of the Christian walk:


{Children} They know God is their Father and are learning the basics of godly living.  

{Young Men} They are strong in the Lord, acquainted with God's Word, and able to discern between good and evil. 

{Fathers} They have much godly wisdom/experience and need further, more advanced instruction.  

I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake. I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, children, because you know the Father. 1 John 2:12-13

Get Down on Their Level    

Identifying which stage a Believer falls under helps us admonish them effectively and appropriately. Pay close attention to the Believer's recent habits, behaviors, words, routines, and activities. 

Ask yourself: When did they become a Christian? Does their life reflect that decision? Are they in a spiritual drought? How have you seen them grow spiritually in the past month? Are they in the midst of an emotional or physical trial? Could outside circumstances play a part in their sinful choices? 

While God holds each stage of a Believer to the same standard of obedience, we should encourage Christians in a way that speaks to their degree of knowledge and experience. For example, God may use us to strengthen a baby disciple's weak faith. God may call us to remind an older disciple of the gospel of mercy and forgiveness. 

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. Romans 15:1-2

Growing Pains

Like physical growth requires painful conditioning, spiritual growth requires uncomfortable effort. With this truth in mind, let us admonish our sisters and brothers with grace.

Growing up is hard yet necessary. Some Christians choose a lifestyle of immaturity. Just because a Believer is immature does not necessarily mean they are a babe in Christ. It does mean they have camped out in the same stage for far too long. 

You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 5:13-14 

Through our admonishment, may we push others to keep running the race set before them. When Christians refuse to dig deep in God's word, repeatedly sleep in past church, and continuously indulge their flesh, they cannot pass to the next stage. 

Shine Scripture's Light 

Like a broken bone, sin hinders Christians' growth. When we notice a damaging sin issue hindering our neighbor, it is our responsibility, as a servant of Christ, to shine Scripture's light into their hearts, exposing sin for what it really is. 

Speak God's Word not your own opinions. The Bible is our final authority. Our own words are noisy gongs and clanging symbols compared to the voice of Truth and Love. Point the Believer back to Christ (not yourself) so they can continue to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord (2 Peter 3:18)".

While Christians shed light on brokenness, Christ is the only One who forgives, heals, and restores it. Our job is to warn and re-direct our fellow Believers according to their spiritual maturity level. Leave the rest up to our Savior. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. Psalm 103:2-5

He Isn't Finished Yet 

Remember, God is not finished with the Believer yet. Trust that God is working in their hearts just as He is working in your own heart. Sanctification is a continuous process; therefore, we can not expect a Christian to "have it all together." God is transforming us from one degree of glory to the next until He completely glorifies us once and for all on the day He calls us home. 

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 

God's Yes is the Best 

So, before you confront a Child of God for their sin (out of a love for them and a hate for sin), consider their spiritual maturity. What stage of the Christian walk are they living in? Are they an old disciple in need of a refresher? A young believer in need of stern instruction? Or a baby Christian in need of accountability? 

Ask the Lord for clear judgment on how to encourage Believers according to their current situation, past experience, and amount of Biblical knowledge. 

Remember, no matter the stage, we must urge Christians to choose God's best. Let us not only reveal the seriousness of their sin, but push them towards the conquerer of all sin. 

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9